I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
