I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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