Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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