Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
