How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You are a genius and a whore.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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