so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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