I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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