my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
my liver is dry heaving
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
