doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
