bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
