remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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