the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize