Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
