I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
