i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
