Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
