My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize