woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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