Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize