On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have post one night stand depression
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
