i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize