I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
