I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
