one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
