you have to choose: penises or morals?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
