making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
