i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
