yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
