Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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