Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
