It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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