Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
