she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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