My hair reeks of homosexuality.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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