She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
