I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
