I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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