Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
