my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
