Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
