Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
