that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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