You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
