Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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