My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
