apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
