I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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