Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize