I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
