that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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