I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
