Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
