walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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