This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
3 2 1 whiskey
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
