I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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