none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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