we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize