Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
