dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
