I wish I could teleport
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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