I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
