HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
