I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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