I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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