Umm I'm too high to move.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
