I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
