I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
